2012年英语专业八级学生写作修改
Owing to the development of technology,social networking plays a vital role in people’s daily life.There has been much controversy over whether social networking is a bane or a boon.Someone holds the view that social networking,as the simply mediates in relationship is uncreative and commercial.By contrast,those who argue that social networking does help people form a new relationship to reduce loneliness as well as support high-quality friendship.{或改为:By contrast,those who hold the point of views argue that social networking does help people form a new relationship to reduce loneliness as well as support high-quality friendship.}From what has been mentioned above,in my opinion,social networking is an essential tool for people.
First and foremost,social networking helps people build new connection with diverse populations from different areas and even countries.In this way, not only could people enlarge their circle of friends,but also broaden their horizons by learning something interesting from friends’ cultures and customs posted on the social circle. Therefore,people sharing their daily life on the social app may promote communication with various people throughout the world.
Besides, social networking is an effective tool,which may pass the time and avoid boredom.As we all know,people is {depend on} a kind of lonely animals,so they may spend their spare time on networking to(in) reducing loneliness and attention.{depend on“取决于”或“是”;spend...in doing sth【其中in可以省略】;spend ...on sth}For instance,if a person who works or {studies} in the outside place is in hospital,he will need someone to comfort his emotions.Thus,under this condition,only can he use social networking to chat with his friends and even studysstrangers to eliminate sadness and pain{eliminate sadness for strangers“eliminate与chat并列”} as well as get encourage from the social networking.
Admittedly,despite the advantages of it, social networking also has some problems that people are extremely easy to addict into the social networking{people are easily addicted to the social networking“be addicted to沉迷”} and lack of time to realistic social{lack of...“lack是名词”动词为lack}.To solve this problem is that people ought to return to real world instead of getting lost in virtual network world.What people should do is to leave home and to make realistic friends{be to do sth and to do sth“是to do sth并列,而不是to do sth和do sth并列”} by participating in the healthy outdoor activities.
In conclusion,weak as it is,social networking plays a significant role in people’s life.If it is{was} utilized in an appropriate way,social networkingbe better beneficial to enrich people’s life. will